What To Expect In Your First Counselling Session

Welcome! I decided to create a blog about what to anticipate in your first session, as I know it can be anxiety-provoking and perhaps even intimidating (along with a few other things!).

I am an integrative psychotherapist trained to work with trauma using a three-step approach. First, we focus on ensuring you feel stable and secure. Once you are ready, we move on to processing your experiences. Finally, we integrate these changes into your daily life. This approach keeps everything manageable and allows us to address deeper issues. In the initial weeks, we'll focus on developing skills to help you stay calm, establishing routines, and creating safety plans if necessary. This foundation enables you to explore difficult memories from a more grounded perspective.

Your first session is a laid-back introduction, offering you the opportunity to be listened to, to feel the support of having someone on your side, and to begin identifying what you hope to achieve from therapy. You are not broken, although you may feel it! You're simply dealing with challenges that have overwhelmed your nervous system. Our goal isn't to resolve everything in one hour, we cant. It's about establishing a stable starting point together.

Following a complimentary 30-minute, no-obligation meeting, typically held via Microsoft Teams or Google Meet, we will determine if collaboration is possible. You can make a decision immediately or take some time to consider it; I prefer not to apply pressure. If we both agree it's a good fit, the next steps are as follows...

Offer - I review my schedule to find a time that aligns with your availability, then send you a proposal with possible times, dates, and costs. You can select what suits you and inform me.

Paperwork and forms - Prior to our first session, you'll be required to fill out a short contract to streamline the process and provide essential details such as your address, medications, diagnosis, etc. This will enable me to understand your needs and have necessary information available in case of any safety concerns. You'll also make an initial payment to secure the slot and demonstrate your commitment, this slot will be available to you for as long as you need it.

Prepare a private space - If online, choose a quiet, private location with stable Wi‑Fi; if meeting in person, aim to arrive a few minutes early, and I'll come outside to meet you and guide you to the cabin.

Consider your priorities - You might note one or two key things you want to focus on or learn about, which can help direct the first hour. Sometimes, we begin with a brief discussion about you and your daily life, it varies.

How the session usually begins

Welcome and Check-In - We will begin with a warm welcome and a brief check on how you're feeling at this moment, being here in therapy. It’s common to feel nervous or anxious, but there is no right way to approach therapy.

Practical Housekeeping - We will discuss confidentiality, session duration, cancellation policy, and our approach to emergencies or technical problems as we review your signed contract.

Your goals for therapy - I’ll inquire about what led you to seek therapy, what changes you wish to make, and what you most want to begin understanding by the end of the session.

Comfort and small practical supports

You are welcome to bring a drink to the session, there is always a bottle of water available. There are also tissues, blankets, and a selection of fidget toys for comfort if you’d like to use them. If you prefer specific items for grounding or self‑soothing, feel free to bring them, let me know in advance if you’d like me to have anything ready. If you are online, make sure you are comfortable and have what you need.

What happens during the first session/s

Your story at your pace  - You’ll be invited to describe your concerns in your own words. I’ll listen with questions that help clarify and reflect, not judge. A low‑pressure approach comes first.

Assessment and formulation - I’ll gently explore how your difficulties show up in daily life, relationships, and your body, and I may share an initial understanding of what’s maintaining the problem.

Try a small practice - We might do a short grounding or breathing exercise to help you feel steady, or a brief in‑session activity to show what future work could look like.

Collaborative planning - We’ll discuss possible ways of working together, including approaches, session frequency, and practicalities.

Support - I'll check what support you have around you and how you calm and look after yourself usually.

Homework and small tasks - I may suggest simple practices or items to try between sessions that support regulation and reflection. If required ill send infographics or direct you to one of my many blogs for psychoeducation purposes.

Emotions and boundaries

You may experience a range of emotions, such as relief, nervousness, hope, sadness, anger, confusion, or even nothing at all. Every response is valid. Initial sessions can evoke memories, curiosity, and fatigue in equal parts, and often the most prominent feeling is uncertainty about what lies ahead. After all, I am a stranger entering your world, which can be intimidating. Observing whatever arises without judgment provides valuable insight into what you currently need.

Pacing and consent

• You remain in control of the pace and content. If anything feels too much at any point, you can ask to slow down, pause, or stop. Ill also be helping you with this.

• I’ll regularly check in and name what I’m noticing so we can decide together whether to continue, shift focus, or use grounding.

• We’ll agree simple safety signals at the start (for example, saying “pause,” showing a hand gesture on camera, or using the chat) so you can communicate quickly if you need space.

• Consent is ongoing. You can change your mind about an approach, request a different focus, or decline activities without explanation.

  
  

Grounding and regulation options

• If strong sensations or emotions arise, we’ll use brief, practical tools to help you settle: paced breathing, body awareness (where are you feeling this in your body?), grounding exercises (name five things you can see/hear/touch), or a short break.

• I’ll offer options and invite you to choose what feels safest, you don’t need to do any technique you don’t want to try.

  
  

Confidentiality and limits to privacy

• I’ll explain the usual confidentiality boundary: what you say stays between us, notes are kept securely, and you control what is shared elsewhere unless you give permission.

• There are rare, legally required exceptions where I must disclose information to keep you or others safe, for example, if there is an immediate risk of serious harm to you or someone else, or if there are safeguarding concerns about children or vulnerable adults. I will always aim to discuss this with you first where it is safe and possible.

• If you want me to share information with another professional (GP, psychiatrist, school, family), we’ll discuss exactly what would be shared and you’ll be asked to give written consent.

  
  

Emotional aftercare and pacing between sessions

• It’s common to feel stirred after a first session. I may suggest gentle ways to come down afterwards (a short walk, a warm drink, simple breathing, or time with a grounding object).

• We’ll pace the work according to how well the regulation strategies are working for you, deep work is built on manageable repetition, not one-off intensity.

  
  

Choice and collaboration

• Therapy is collaborative: we’ll set goals together, review progress, and adapt our approach to fit what’s actually helpful for you.

• If, at any point, you feel a different therapist, style, or pace would suit you better, we can talk that through and I can support a safe transition.

  
  

You’re not expected to have it all figured out in the first sessions. The purpose of these boundaries and tools is to create a reliable container so you can explore at a pace that respects your safety and dignity.

Final note

Your first session is an invitation, a unique opportunity for you to be seen and heard without any pressure or expectations. It serves as a safe enough space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings at your own pace, allowing you to gauge the therapeutic relationship that is essential for effective healing and growth. This initial meeting is not just a formality, it is a critical moment to assess whether the therapist's approach aligns with your personal needs and goals. You are encouraged to openly discuss your experiences, aspirations, and any concerns you may have, all while feeling secure in the knowledge that this is a judgment-free zone.

During this session, you have the chance to test the waters of this new relationship, to see if the dynamics you share with the therapist resonate with you. It’s perfectly acceptable to take your time in deciding if the therapist is the right fit for you. After all, the therapeutic alliance is a key component of successful therapy, and feeling comfortable with your therapist can significantly enhance the effectiveness of the process. Remember, this is about you and your journey, your comfort and trust are paramount.

Just be open about what works for you or what has worked in the past. This helps your therapist tailor their approach to suit your needs and preferences. Whether it's certain techniques you like, topics you want to cover, or the pace you're comfortable with, your input is key. Working together like this makes therapy feel more like a partnership, letting you play an active role in your healing journey. This first session isn't just the beginning of therapy, it's the groundwork for future sessions and a big step toward the personal growth and understanding you're aiming for.