Unlocking the Unknown: The Meaning of Self-Awareness
- Kerry Hampton
- Apr 21
- 6 min read
Self-awareness holds a unique power. It allows us to understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in a deeper way. Yet, many people find it challenging to grasp fully. Do you often find yourself saying "Why did I say that?" …"Why did I act that way?" …"Why didn't I do xyz?"
What is self-awareness, and how can it truly impact our everyday lives?
For therapists, being self-aware means constantly confronting the deeper layers of our own experiences, especially when we are training. We have to see our depths to help you in yours, which is why we appreciate what may come with it and the courage it takes to "Look".
Sometimes feeing grief for what we once overlooked, hid away and what we didn't recognise or understand, can create a sadness, which is natural.
Some might even say, "I want the blinkers back on," longing for the comforting ignorance/denial of earlier days. Yet this revelation is a necessary part of growth.
It signals that old patterns are coming into view and releasing their hold, changing them for better, safer, more secure ways, and aligning with our wants and needs, and making space for new insights and healthier ways of relating. We not only free ourselves from outdated modes of thinking but also create empowerment to find healing in newfound awareness.
Importantly, as we confront these insights, we help the next generation, our children and those around us, by not passing on unhelpful cycles or unresolved wounds. In embracing our self-awareness and learning to navigate our grief, we create a legacy of deeper connection, empathy, and positive change that resonates far beyond our own lives.
In this post, we will explore the essence of self-awareness, break down its components, and discuss actionable benefits. You will see how cultivating self-awareness can lead to a more intentional and fulfilling life.
Understanding Self-Awareness.
Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motivations, and desires. Imagine looking into a mirror that shows not just your physical appearance but also your emotional and mental state. This understanding helps clarify who you are and how others see you.
When you gain clarity on your thoughts and emotions, you can make informed decisions. For example, studies show that self-aware individuals are 6 times more likely to act according to their values, leading to substantial personal growth. It also allows you to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, guiding your journey toward self-improvement.
The Two Dimensions of Self-Awareness.
Self-awareness can be divided into two key dimensions: internal awareness and external awareness.
Internal Awareness.
This dimension focuses on recognizing your own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. For instance, if you notice that you feel anxious in large meetings, internal awareness helps you understand why. This could lead to strategies for managing your anxiety, improving your emotional intelligence, a crucial skill in personal and professional relationships.
By reflecting on your thoughts, you can identify patterns that may need change. An internal awareness practice, like tracking your mood over a week, may reveal insights into your emotional responses. For example, you might find that you feel happiest on days when you exercise, indicating a need to prioritize physical activity.
External Awareness.
External awareness is about understanding how others perceive you. This includes reading social cues and recognizing the impact of your behaviour on those around you. For example, if friends frequently tell you that you interrupt them, this feedback can help enhance your communication skills and strengthen your relationships.
Being externally aware allows you to better connect with others and adapt your actions accordingly. It can also reveal how societal influences shape your beliefs and behaviours, providing empowerment to challenge norms that do not serve you.
Benefits of Cultivating Self-Awareness.
Cultivating self-awareness can lead to numerous benefits that enhance both personal and professional aspects of life.
Improved Decision-Making.
With a clear understanding of your emotions and motivations, you can make better decisions. For example, someone aware of their impulsivity might take a moment to pause before making a significant purchase, ensuring it aligns with their long-term goals. Research indicates that people with high levels of self-awareness tend to make decisions that positively affect their lives.
Enhanced Relationships.
Self-awareness enhances empathy and understanding. When you recognize your emotional triggers, you can respond more thoughtfully to others. This leads to reduced misunderstandings and improved communication. For instance, a self-aware manager may notice when their stress levels rise and choose to approach team meetings with calmness, instead of being/acting "Triggered", he has a knowing that it is his state affecting him, not others, fostering a positive work environment.
A parent who starts to feel overwhelmed when their child throws a "Meltdown" in a crowded public space. Instead of immediately reacting with frustration or anger, the parent notices the rising tide of their own emotions and takes a brief moment to breathe deeply. Recognizing that their internal state is influencing their reaction, they choose to remain calm and address the situation with compassion and understanding.
Often, these moments of being triggered stem from past experiences or deeply ingrained emotional patterns. A parent might be reminded of their own childhood struggles, perhaps feeling unsupported or criticized in similar moments, which can amplify the stress of the current situation. Alternatively, high personal expectations and fears of failing in their role can contribute to a heightened state of alertness when faced with a child's emotional outburst.
By acknowledging the source of these triggers, the parent not only de-escalates the immediate tension but also models emotional regulation/Co-regulation for the child. This measured response fosters a nurturing atmosphere where both feel safe to express and manage their feelings, paving the way for healthier emotional development in the family.
Greater Self-Confidence.
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses boosts self-confidence. When individuals embrace their uniqueness, they feel secure in who they are. Studies reveal that self-aware individuals report a 15% increase in self-esteem compared to their less self-aware peers.
Emotional Regulation.
Self-awareness is crucial for managing emotions. Understanding your triggers allows for healthier coping strategies. For example, knowing that you tend to react angrily in stressful situations gives you an opportunity to practice deep breathing before responding. (Adding a resource). This can lead to a significant reduction in stress levels.
Cultivating Self-Awareness: Practical Steps.
Improving self-awareness is a journey. Here are practical steps to help you begin:
Journaling.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide clarity. It offers a safe space for reflection and organizing thoughts. Over time, revisiting past entries helps identify patterns in behaviour or emotions.
Mindfulness Meditation.
Mindfulness practices promote present-moment awareness. For instance, spending just 10 minutes daily observing your thoughts can deepen your inner understanding.
Seeking Feedback.
Request feedback from trusted friends to gain external perspectives. Hearing how others see you can highlight areas for improvement.
Engage in Self-Reflection.
Set aside time to reflect on your day. Questions like "What did I learn today?" or "How did I feel during specific interactions?" can spark insights.
Educate Yourself .
Reading books, listening to audio, watching videos, reading blogs! Are all ways to help personal development and can deepen your understanding of self-awareness and yourself. Knowledge often leads to insight and personal growth.
Common Myths about Self-Awareness.
As self-awareness becomes more popular, several myths can create misunderstandings:
Myth 1: Self-Awareness is Just Introspection.
Introspection is vital, but self-awareness also requires openness to feedback and external perceptions. For instance, it isn’t enough to reflect on your day; you should also consider how others view your actions.
Myth 2: Self-Awareness is Only for Problematic Individuals.
Everyone can benefit from self-awareness. It is not exclusively for those facing challenges. Rather, it is a path that leads to personal empowerment and growth.
Myth 3: Self-Awareness is a Destination.
Self-awareness is not a one-time achievement. It is an ongoing journey, constantly evolving and growing. As you encounter new experiences, your self-understanding will evolve.
Embracing Your Journey of Self-Discovery.
Unlocking self-awareness can reshape your understanding of yourself and how you relate to others. It opens up a world of better decision-making, richer relationships, and increased self-confidence.
Start cultivating self-awareness now by engaging in practices that resonate with you. Remember that this is a continuous journey toward embracing your true self and understanding your place in the world.
Your quest for self-awareness is not just about being a "better" person, we are already good enough, it is about unlocking a life filled with authenticity and fulfilment, which can be immensely liberating.
Take that first step today and explore the depths of who you are.
