From Ivory Towers to Real Talk: The Evolution of Therapist Authenticity

Remember the days when therapy was like a secret club with strict rules, no social media, no public reviews, and absolutely no personal anecdotes allowed. That was the old school, the way I was originally taught. Therapists maintained a polished, professional façade, keeping their life stories well behind closed doors to preserve clear boundaries between ourselves and our work. We were instructed to stay out of the public eye and avoid going online, especially on social media, because it was believed that any exposure would harm our practice. We were told that appearing only on accredited sites was all we needed. Clearly, times have changed, and that old approach no longer holds true for many of us today.

If we fast forward to the new world of counselling, where authenticity reigns and being human is part of the job description, many therapists, including myself, are opening up a bit more, sharing thoughtful insights and glimpses of our everyday experiences on blogs or professional platforms. We might talk about our morning routines, recount a funny mishap (like a spilled cup of coffee right before a big session), or offer reflections on the art of coping, all while keeping client confidentiality firmly intact.

In my view, this shift isn’t about oversharing or turning therapy into a personal diary. It’s about connecting in a genuine, relatable way. By offering a peek behind the curtain, we show that we, too, navigate life’s unexpected twists and turns. We go through tough times, suffer from anxieties, and experience losses. While I don't spend session time recounting my own woes, I certainly understand what it feels like to be overwhelmed, or even annoyed that someone's put an empty box back in the cupboard!

I’m not a powerful guru pretending to have it all figured out, I’m just a human being that can struggle, just like my clients. We can’t escape life, but I have learned to do the very things I hope my clients will learn, to manage whatever comes our way. This doesn’t mean I never feel those challenges again, rather, my ongoing training, experience, and personal insights empower me to support others effectively every step of the way. This honest approach not only demystifies the therapeutic process but also builds trust. We hope our clients see that behind the professional title is someone who truly understands that life can be as challenging as it is absurd, yet also knows how to navigate those challenges. I hope to reach people who need it, even if they just read my blogs. I hope to show if I can be vulnerable and human, my clients can too.

In today’s ever-evolving landscape, we also have to move with the times. The digital world is here to stay, especially considering that our clients increasingly live and interact online. Embracing digital strategies isn’t just about keeping up with trends, it’s about meeting people where they are and making therapy more accessible and relevant in an interconnected age. COVID pushed us online in ways we never imagined, revealing new possibilities for connection and support that have since redefined how we practice.

Recently, a discussion came to mind about what we should be doing as counsellors, therapists, and related professionals. How should we advertise? How should we run our business? It got me thinking about our evolving role in a digital ecosystem. Some believe that the traditional boundaries and discretion are still paramount, while others see the value in a transparent, human approach that demystifies therapy and makes it more approachable. Each to their own. Whether through thoughtful social media posts, client reviews, or other digital avenues, today’s tools offer unique opportunities to connect authentically without compromising professionalism.

I must admit, some of the training I received left me scratching my head. I was once told not to offer tissues or even water during sessions. But that guidance went against every part of my humaneness. I decided to have plenty of water, tissues and many somatic tools for if and when it is needed/wanted! The thought of watching a client struggle, with tears welling up or a voice trembling, and not offering even the simplest gesture of care felt inhumane and part robotic.

Whilst Somatically, a glass of water can help regulate emotions and soothe the body, such acts of compassion remind us that therapy is, at its core, about being truly human. Even back then, views on what was “professional” could differ widely.

As our field embraces authenticity, digital tools, and a more transparent approach, it’s essential to remember that ethical practice remains the cornerstone of our work. The ethical side of counselling isn’t just a checklist of dos and don’ts, it’s a commitment to prioritize the well-being, safety, and trust of our clients every single day.

• Balancing Self-Disclosure and Boundaries: There’s an ongoing conversation about how much of ourselves to share. It personal to each person, and for their own reasons and management. While opening up can demystify therapy and build trust, it’s essential to strike the right balance between authentic connection and maintaining the professional space necessary for focused work. Our clients safety and the confidentiality of the therapeutic space are paramount. Transparency should never come at the cost of blurring these essential lines.

• The Role of Digital Tools in Enhancing Access: The digital realm has revolutionized how therapy is delivered. From teletherapy platforms to blogs and online self-help resources, technology allows us to reach clients where they are. It’s not just about trends, it’s about ensuring that therapy evolves along with our society.

• Confidentiality and Digital Engagement:   The digital world offers unprecedented opportunities to connect, learn, and grow, yet it also poses unique ethical challenges. Whether using teletherapy, managing online self-help resources, or engaging on social media, protecting client confidentiality remains non-negotiable. Compliance with data protection laws, such as the GDPR, and adherence to professional guidelines ensure that our online presence reinforces trust rather than undermining it.

• Informed Consent and Respect for Autonomy:   As we navigate the evolving role of digital tools, it’s important that we involve our clients in discussions about how these technologies are used in their care. Transparent communication about digital practices, and how we handle client data, is crucial. This reinforces our respect for client autonomy and the ethical commitment to informed consent.

• Continuous Professional Development and Reflexivity: Every new discussion, every piece of feedback, reminds us that the field of counselling is dynamic. We’re all lifelong learners, constantly refining our approaches to better serve our clients while remaining true to our own values.  Ethics in counselling is a dynamic, ongoing conversation. Regular supervision, continuing professional development, and personal reflection help us stay aligned with both the letter and spirit of ethical guidelines. Although trends and tools change, the core principles of empathy, respect, and integrity guide us through every new challenge.

• Upholding Professional Integrity in a Changing World:   While the digital age invites us to evolve and connect in new ways, it also demands that we remain vigilant. Ethical practice means that every step we take, be it in a face-to-face session or through an online post, is in service of our clients best interests. No matter how far we step into a more open and interactive world, our commitment to ethical principles ensures that we always put care, confidentiality, and respect first.

• Adapting to Changing Client Expectations: Some of today’s clients come from diverse, digitally-driven backgrounds. They expect not only expert guidance but also a relatable, human touch. Adapting our business practices and communication styles to these shifting expectations is essential for remaining effective and relevant.

• Fostering Community and Openness: By stepping into the digital space, therapists are not only reaching clients but also building communities. Whether through moderated online groups, blogs, or virtual workshops, sharing our experiences in measured ways can create spaces of collective support and demystify the therapeutic journey.

  
  

A Personal and Professional Note

Therapy, like life, encompasses a myriad of approaches and theoretical models. Whether it’s cognitive-behavioural, psychodynamic, humanistic, or another modality entirely, each model offers its own unique view of human experience and healing. While our methods may differ, the essence of our work remains the same, we are all human, forging deep connections with other humans on a shared journey toward growth and healing.

It’s also important that we, as therapists, walk the talk. Telling a client to become authentic while not embracing authenticity ourselves is an interesting paradox. Of course, a therapy session isn’t a casual friendly chat about every detail of our personal life. Still, I believe that allowing subtle glimpses of my own humanity, whether it’s a well-timed joke, a reference to a favourite film, or a brief shared observation, helps ensure that I’m not coming off as a robot or an unreachable guru. It’s about striking a balance that keeps the connection genuine and grounded.

Every approach has its place, and each therapist must decide what works best for them and the clients they serve. Whether you find comfort in the time-honoured practices of old or resonate with a more open, digitally engaged professional style, the ultimate goal remains unchanged, supporting the journey to healing, growth, and self-discovery.

By blending clinical expertise with genuine, relatable authenticity, and perhaps the occasional well-timed laugh, we’re building bridges that empower those we serve and remind us all that, regardless of the theoretical model we follow, the need for compassion, understanding, and real human connection remains universal.

While we may now share more of our authentic selves and leverage digital avenues to connect with others, our ethical responsibilities remain unchanged. They are the anchor that keeps the therapeutic process safe, professional, and profoundly supportive. As we continue to evolve, let’s honour our commitment to ethical practice, because at the end of the day, every modern tool and personal insight must serve the timeless goal of effective, compassionate care.

Happy connecting, and here’s to continuously evolving together!