Exploring the Hidden Effects of Toxic Positivity on Mental Wellbeing
- Kerry Hampton
- May 10
- 6 min read
In today's fast-paced world, the pressure to stay positive can feel overwhelming. Many people believe that maintaining a positive attitude is the best way to tackle life's challenges. However, there's another side to this coin that needs attention: toxic positivity.
Spiritual bypassing is sometimes alongside and is when people use spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid dealing with real emotions, struggles, or personal growth. Instead of facing difficult feelings, they might dismiss them with positivity, detachment, or spiritual explanations.
This blog post examines what toxic positivity is, how it affects mental wellbeing, and how we can find a balance between being positive and acknowledging genuine emotions.
What is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity represents the idea that one should always maintain a cheerful outlook, regardless of the situation. It shows up when people dismiss negative emotions, insisting on a constant positive perspective. Common phrases like “Just look on the bright side” or “Everything happens for a reason” often reinforce this toxic mindset.
Toxic positivity often comes from the belief that negative thoughts attract negative experiences, leading people to dismiss or suppress emotions rather than process them. This mindset can make it feel like expressing sadness, anger, or frustration is dangerous, as if acknowledging pain will somehow make life worse.
While optimism can be powerful, avoiding negative emotions doesn’t make them disappear, it can actually make them stronger over time. Emotions serve a purpose: they signal when something needs attention, care, or change. When people constantly push aside uncomfortable feelings, they may struggle with anxiety, emotional numbness, or even resentment, because unresolved emotions don’t simply go away.
Often, people engaging in toxic positivity don’t realize they’re doing it. They genuinely believe they’re offering encouragement or helping others stay positive, but in reality, they may be invalidating emotions, dismissing real struggles or avoiding the uncomfortable feelings for themselves.
While focusing on positive aspects can be uplifting, toxic positivity can invalidate feelings and hinder authentic emotional expression. For instance, a person might feel pressured to smile through grief, leading to unresolved emotions and increased internal conflict.
Recognizing the Signs of Toxic Positivity.
Understanding the signs of toxic positivity can help identify when it occurs, whether within oneself or in conversations with others. Here are some tell-tale signs:
Dismissal of Feelings:
Phrases like...
“Just think positive!” – Oversimplifying emotions rather than addressing pain or hardship. “Everything happens for a reason.” – While meant to be comforting, this can dismiss genuine feelings of grief or frustration.
“It could be worse.” – Comparing struggles rather than allowing space for someone’s emotions.
“Stop being so negative.” – Making people feel guilty for expressing difficult emotions.
All can unintentionally dismiss someone's real emotional experience. Instead of providing comfort, such statements may make the person feel ashamed or guilty for experiencing negative feelings, leading to increased distress.
Pressure to be Positive All the Time: This is particularly evident in social settings where individuals feel they must project a façade of happiness. A survey found that 70% of participants reported feeling they could not express their true feelings for fear of being judged. This kind of pressure stifles genuine emotional sharing.
Overly Simplistic Solutions: Some people tend to offer quick fixes for complex emotional issues. While these suggestions may come from a place of caring, they can undermine the deep discussions needed for mental health. For example, telling someone to "just lighten up" or "Think of the good" overlooks the many factors that contribute to their emotional state.
Why People Do It:
They fear discomfort and avoid hard conversations.
They believe positivity is the best way to help, even if it suppresses emotions.
They don’t know how to hold space for feelings without trying to “fix” them.
They’ve been taught that expressing emotions is weak, so they repeat those patterns.
The Effects of Toxic Positivity on Mental Health.
The need to uphold a positive outlook can carry significant consequences for mental health. Toxic positivity often comes from a deep discomfort with negative emotions. Some people believe that feeling sad, frustrated, or overwhelmed is wrong or dangerous, so they try to avoid those feelings, both in themselves and in others.
Instead of allowing space for difficult emotions, they might say things like “Just stay positive” or “Everything happens for a reason,” in an attempt to push pain away.
This avoidance can stem from personal experiences or beliefs, perhaps they were taught that negative emotions should be ignored, or they fear that acknowledging sadness will make things worse. Instead of sitting with discomfort, they try to “fix” emotions quickly or shift the conversation toward something lighter. While their intention might be to help, the result is often invalidating and dismissive, leaving the other person feeling unheard.
Healthy emotional support means allowing ALL feelings to exist, the good, the bad, and everything in between. Emotions aren’t “negative” or “positive”, they’re signals, guiding us toward what needs attention and care.
Here are some notable impacts:
Increased Anxiety and Stress: Those who suppress their negative emotions may experience heightened anxiety. About 60% of individuals dealing with anxiety report feeling overwhelmed by unexpressed feelings, leading to an emotional bottleneck.
Feelings of Isolation: Many who adhere to toxic positivity feel alone in their sadness. This culture discourages discussions about negative emotions, causing individuals to withdraw and feel misunderstood. A study found that 65% of survey respondents felt isolated because they could not share their struggles.
Reduction of Emotional Resilience: Acknowledging difficult feelings is vital for personal growth. When negative emotions are dismissed, individuals might struggle to build the resilience needed to face future challenges effectively. Without this skill, they are less prepared for life's ups and downs.
Why it can be angering to receive..
Toxic positivity can feel infuriating for some, because it invalidates real emotions. When someone responds to pain with dismissive platitudes like "Just be positive!" or "It could be worse," they shut down honest feelings instead of offering true support.
At its core, anger often comes from feeling unseen, unheard, or disregarded. When toxic positivity is used, it minimizes struggles instead of acknowledging them. It tells people, "Your feelings are inconvenient," rather than "Your emotions are valid and deserve space."
Another frustrating aspect is that many people don’t realize they’re doing it, they think they’re being helpful, when in reality, they’re making it harder for others to process emotions. The expectation to "stay positive" at all times can feel isolating, preventing people from expressing pain without guilt.
Feeling anger in response to toxic positivity is normal, it means you value genuine emotional connection and support.
Striking a Balance: Real Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity.
Finding a healthy approach to positivity requires distinguishing between authentic positivity and toxic positivity. Here are some strategies to consider:
Acknowledging Emotions
Recognizing and validating all emotions is crucial. It's okay to feel sad or frustrated. By accepting these feelings, we pave the way for personal growth and healing.
Encouraging Honest Conversations
Creating safe spaces for discussions about emotions is essential. When people feel free to express their emotions without judgment, they foster connections and provide much-needed support.
Practicing Empathy
Instead of jumping to solutions, practice empathy by actively listening. Validate others' feelings without attempting to immediately “fix” them. Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to listen genuinely.
Encouraging Healthy Positivity
Promote positivity that respects the complexity of emotions. A supportive phrase like, “This is tough, but how can we cope with this together?” acknowledges the struggle and reinforces a supportive environment.
The Role of Society in Perpetuating Toxic Positivity.
Modern society often sets unrealistic standards for happiness. Through social media and popular culture, individuals may feel pressure to maintain constant joy. These expectations perpetuate toxic positivity, making it vital to confront and challenge these norms.
By focusing on empathy and openness, we can change the narrative surrounding emotional health within our communities.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Balance
Incorporating mindfulness can help individuals tune into their emotional states. This practice teaches people to experience their feelings, both positive and negative, without judgment. Mindfulness encourages emotional honesty and a deeper understanding of oneself, which leads to healthier coping strategies.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions.
Toxic positivity can negatively impact mental wellbeing in significant ways. By recognizing its signs and effects, we can work towards creating environments that support rather than silence negative emotions.
Through honest conversations, empathy, and acknowledgment of true feelings, we can encourage genuine positivity. Ultimately, embracing both the bright and shadowy aspects of our emotions will enable us to thrive in our emotional lives.
